hais.. past two days had camp.. some camp lorx.. its day camp wan.. so now staying overnight.. thats better anywae.. den.. freakin sian in the camp la.. i just feel like a square peg in a round hole.. am not even confident of myself next yr.. unsure of loads of stuff.. hv yet to get a good grip on the ropes.. and for the 2 days.. lunch time i was the only sec 3 eating in the canteen.. fortunately for the first day i had a very good fren accompanying me.. we chatted till my lunch break was abt to be up.. and he actually asked me along for a gathering wif some frens he made via the christmas carnival.. but due to some circumstances i did not follow him.. and am glad that i din follow him.. cos he came back telling me that he regretted going.. so yup.. glad i made the right choice.. den second day even worse.. i was left all alone again.. the others went out to hv lunch.. but i decided to save the time and effort and money to eat in sch.. den after eating i just sat by the eco-pond alone thinking about certain stuff.. i really envy the fishes swimming in the pond la.. they dun hv to worry a single care.. dey dun hv a hectic lifestyle.. and leading such a carefree life.. sighx............ sometimes u just feel like ending it all.... but by doing that to.. it will be veh irresponsible.. den todae we did another section of the profieciency test which consisted of SEQ.. Structured Esay Questions.. sighx.. had a hard time trying to write as much as i can la.. and surprisingly i passed section A.. must be their marking too lenient or too much moderation.. den we had another presentation frm the services department.. the worst was the interview thingy arhx.. or they call it the mirror treatment.. had to queue up so long.. and got 2 rooms to go to somemore.. luckily i am one of the few who luckily managed to finish both of them fast.. and den i decided to join my fren.. just din feel like going home lorx.. i feel tat i need to see the outside world more often.. hais.. so so so so so sian... and as year 2005 draws to a close.. its time to put the past behind.. look onwards to the bright future ahead of us.. and to put in our best effort in whatever we do.. because... Every day is a new day..



the worst christmas i've ever had.....

sighx.... wat a christmas i had... slept at the whereabouts of 1.30am on christmas morning after opening my presents.. one was a chess set and i immediately started playing wif my mother.. haha.. and i think i was too eager to win till i made too many mistakes and lost.. lied down on my bed and jus stared up at the ceiling... thinking about wat i was being told.... i supposed it wld come sooner or later bah.. so its better to face it earlier.. but unfortunately it came at the time of christmas and tat totally ruined my festive mood larhx.. dun worry.. am not blaming anyone.. but if there's anyone to blame is myself lorx.. my theory was proven correct once again.. and it seems like only by abiding by my self-made policy will i not get involved in any unwanted stuff again.... being cruel to myself.. but its only for the good of me.. first bitter den sweet as the chinese saying goes.. laid down on my bed at 0130.. but must hv kept tossing and turning till around 0200 plus.. woke up at 8 plus in the morning.. prepared to go to church half an hour earlier before the actual service time cos my parents had to do duty.. ushering and collecting of offering.. and i was dragged in to help out.. den after helping out and service was about to start.. my mother's fren came and sat at our bench lorx.. so my "place" was like kinda taken up.. den when i wanted to sit down my mother actually "shooed" me away to the bench behind us lar.. and plus she did it rather quickly lar.. den the bench behind me actually got someone sitting liao le.. den when that person came dat person looked disappointed lar! so embarrasing.. from den my mood nose-dived.. couldn't bring myself to sing the songs and hymns.. and i dare admit that i wasn't paying much attention to the speaker of todae's message.. after service was fellowship tea in the fellowship hall.. i couldn't help but stand one side and do nth.. jus wasn't in the mood to do anything.. and my parents were rather pissed off by my behaviour.. not wanting to help clear up the used cups into the kitchen.. went to my grandma's house for lunch.. not tat bad.. at least it filled my tummy.. after lunch i had to accompany my cousin in playing of his mother's hp.. den he made me play the space impact until complete lorx.. den i completed liao le hor.. den he snatched the hp away and went to show his mother the high score... and he even said to his mother, "See mommy! i completed the game! so good ah!" lol.. wat 2 do.. jus swallow it lorx.. made our way home around 3.30pm.. arrived home around 4 liao le.. i was so tired.. after i changed out of my clothes i just lied on the bed and blasted some music in my hearing organs.. den slowly slowly before i completely closed my eyes i unplugged and jus closed my eyes.. bu zhi bu jue.. i slept until 6.30 lar.. siao liao.. tonite cannot sleep.. insomnia again.. hais.. can't believe i hv 3 camps this hols.. and as the year 2005 comes to a close... we all dunno what challenges may come our way.. but we will just hv to face it wif confidence and make the best out of it.. again.. take this opportunity to wish all visitors of my blog a Blessed Christmas and a Happy New Year!



wa.. todae woke up at 9am.. kinda shuang.. legs feeling much better todae.. den left house around 10.45 after playing some yahoo chess.. met up wif my fren at the void deck of his house.. den we made our way to hv lunch together.. den we went back to his house to change into our PT kit.. den we took bus together to go to school.. played some soccer before breaking down into a serious discussion.. spent around 45 mins discussing before we went around the school to hang our NPCC banners... we actually spent 1 and a half hour hanging one banner larhx.. cos of certain factors we took so long to hang the banner.. and we got told off from our senior.. den the following two banners we hung were so much faster.. partially becos we split into 2 grps so the manpower was distributed evenly.. after hanging the banners we helped our NCOs do a favour.. den we went down to play soccer.. so fun siah.. scored 3 spectacular goals.. =) so kewl.. den after dat made my way home lorx.. had dinner and watched Home Alone 3 at the same time.. den now came online to blog and stuff.. sighx.. as the number of days to 2006 slowly decreases.. the feeling is just so scary lorx.. hais.. can only commit them into God's hands..



just came back from camp yesterdae afternoon.. had to carry so many things home.. reached home and immediately took a bath.. and afterwhich unpacked my camp stuff before leaving house.. went to meet up wif a few others at a fren's house.. den we went to eat dinner together at Mac's.. wa.. dinner has never been so good for the past few days.. den todae woke up at 8am cos had to go for piano lesson in the morning.. came home and vacuumed the floor of my dining hall and living room.. legs all aching like siao frm camp den still hv to do all these lar.. so pek chek.. den my fren came my house cos his internet connection still down.. realli pity him larhx.. can hardly do anything on his com.. lol.. after much thinking.. i realised that the most important thing in life.... is not wealth.. its not life.. its not health.. its happiness.. in everything that u do u must be happy.. and only in that way wld u be most willing to do it.. and being happy will enable u to look on the bright side of everything.. isn't being happy the best thing that can ever happen? we wun hav any complains.. its the best thing mann.. haha.. maybe i m just uttering rubbish.. but i find that it really does make some sense... so.. yup.. a word of advice to the ppl out there.. BE HAPPY...



now am in the plane.. thinking of the loads of stuff that i hv to do and settle.. camp is just the day after tmr.. dunno how the preparations are coming along.. mus hv missed a couple of trainings over the week.. hais.. hv to prepare excuse letter also.. still hv about 3 hrs plus to reach Singapore.. just keep losing in the soccer game on board the plane lorr.. hai.. not fair wan... dunno how u guys are doing back in S'pore.. hope everything is fine.. todae woke up at the whereabouts of 7.. den went down for breakfast.. hai... tired of eating the same stuff and the same stuff again.. American Breakfast buffet.. after brekfast i went up to the hotel room again to watch a NBA match.. it wasnt for long before we had to checkout and we walked 5 mins to the left of our hotel to a shopping area.. we were also running low on Aussie dollars.. mus hv spent so much the past 6 days.. i just hope to get back to S'pore a.s.a.p.. yup.. its always good to be home.. =)



din do much todae.. other than visiting the dolphin discovery centre, a 1 hr cruise at the town of Mandurah, stoppy by at a souvenir shop.. there was nth else but a long bus journey back to Perth.. bought a lil smt frm the gift shop at the dolphin discovery centre.. also watched a short film on dolphins dere.. after which we carried on our journey to Bunbury for lunch.. ate wat they call the best fish and chips in Western Australia.. after dat took a cruise where we went close up wif the dolphins.. but they were too fast to take a shot of.. after dat made our way back to Perth and before checking in, dropped byt @ a gift shop and bought a big packet of nougats.. after checking into hotel we left for Hay Street to do shopping and hv dinner.. well.. my mood was horrible during shopping.. jus in a bad mood too.. hais.. den my mother gave me cough mixture cos i was coughing badly.. now feeling a lil drowsy.. looking forward to tmr.. hv 2 go sleep early so.. ya.. nitex..







same procedures over and over again.. after having breakfast, we brought our luggages out of the room and loaded it into the bus.. left the hotel @ 8.30am and made our way to the city of Augusta.. just to stop for a toilet break.. afterwhich we made our way to Cape Leeuwin where a lighthouse stood overwatching the oceans.. that was also the point where both the southern ocean and indian ocean meet.. the wind was just SOOO strong till i felt as though i was being blown away had i not kept my grip on the ground firm.. after dat we went to tour a cave by the name of Jewel Cave.. it was forty metres underground and we heard from the tour guide about the history of how this cave was founded.. he even let us experience the pitch darkness of the cave and i must say tat i found it very thrilling.. the steep steps up and down mus hv gotten most ppl tired and after coming out frm the cave, everyone was just complaining.. the bus journey to Margaret River.. i hardly slept properly.. u all must be thinking tat we went to the river but it's also the name of the town.. will be visiting the river tmr.. went to shop and hv our own lunch around the town.. i din get anything tho.. nth suitable.. hais.. checked into the hotel which mwas a 3-min drive away, which was by the name of Comfort Inn Grange on Farrelly.. i tell u.. WA!! the rm was so nice! actually had some arguement over our parents bout which rm we shld take but both parties haven seen the rm yet.. just the outside of it.. but ended up we got the better rm cos it had a few curtains around the queen size bed.. and i m gonna sleep in it.. while my sis sleeps in the single bed... muahaha... dun get me wrong.. i din bully her.. but she slept in the queen size the prev. night.. so now its my turn.. haha.. =P den also heard frm the tour leader tat tmr night the hotel wld be the best.. i m so looking forward to it mann.. just won my mother in a round of chess after dinner.. and dinner was in the hotel restaurant again.. this time we were given a few choices to pre-order from.. so each of us got our own preferences.. although the choices were limited.. well, but i m not enjoying myself wholefully.. so how to even enjoy properly.. my physical self in australia.. but my mental self still back in Singapore.. just feeling so troubled and worried about bout how stuff are going on back in singapore.. 3 more days though.. persevere.. perservere..



checked out of the hotel at 8.00am.. or rather inn, not hotel.. and made our way to the treetop walk which was forty metres above ground level.. it was just a pathway high up in the trees and had some scenic view.. went for the ancient empire walk which was jus nxt to the entrance of the treetop walk.. learnt about the many types of trees eg, the red tingle and yellow tingle and we purchased a cup of hot chocolate from the vending machine in the souvenir shop.. afterwhich we had a long bus journey.. didn't nap so much this time round.. mus be becos of the accompaniment of some music.. and as the music played, i just stared into the scenery & my eyes couldn't help tearing after thinking about certain stuff.. ~(private & confidential)~ approach me if u wish to know.. but i will decide if can tell u or not.. went to hv lunch in the city of Denmark.. had Western food again.. after dat we made our way to the lavender and berry farm.. both my sis and i agreed that it was more of a fly farm than any other farm.. there were just so many bushflies and they kept irritating all of us.. so was the same scenario at the trout farm.. everyone was jus so occupied wif the flies that no one was interested to look at the trout.. made our way to the Glouchester Tree which had a 61m high look-out point at the top.. only 4 were willing to climb the tree... my dad, my sis, me and another guy.. and i was the youngest.. Yay!! haha.. after that we had an early check in @ Glouchester Motel.. stated as 3 and a half star rating.. i will only give it 2 though.. had a sumptuous dinner at the restaurant of the motel and now i m so full.. sigh.......... still have four more days to go................................



wa sia la.. morning call at 5.50am.. but still slept on till 6.10am =P went to brush up and after packing up, we made our way down for breakfast.. unfortunately my mother was experiencing stomachache so we were kinda delayed in our setting off for the day.. had a small tour around the city of Perth.. we stopped by at King's Park which had a scenic view of the town and after that we went to take some photos by the waters of Lake Monger.. We stopped by at a fruit orchard to buy some cherries and strawberries for our own consumption.. they really are fresh and delicious.. making our way to Albany.. the distance must have been some 300 km.. and i couldn''t help but nap during the journey.. lunch was a nightmare.. the burgers were just so enormous!! when we arrived near the outskirts of Albany, we stopped at one of the most famous tourist attractions in Albany.. the Gap and the Natural Bridge.. both structures have been formed by the rosion caused by the strong tidal waves along the coast.. and the mind there was so strong that i felt as though i could have been blown off any minute.. it was after that dat i began to feel sick as my nose started to leak and i was feeling drowsy.. afterwhich we went to tour Whale World.. the highlight of the tour was the 3-D movie and dunno why my eyes started tearing there.. not like i was touched by the movie or anything.. went back to Albany city to stop by at what they call a chemist shop while the driver pumped petrol.. felt bad for making other families wait for me while me and my father went to get medicine for me at the chemist shop.. drove up Mt Clarence after that and no one was willing to climb up 80 steps to reach the summit so everymone made do with a view obstructed by a few overgrown trees.. overthere we observed a bushfire which had occured only a while ago.. drove down the hill and went to hav dinner @ a chinese restaurant by the name of Three Plenties Chinese restaurant.. after that we checked into a new hotel by the name of Comfort Inn Albany.. not feeling too good now either.. haix..



having to wake up at 6.30 in the morning and sleeping at the whereabouts of 1am, am not surprised that i was feeling lethargic this morning.. must hv been the last family to reach the airport... checked in our baggage and went to the Terminal 2 canteen to drink some hot drink.. afterwhich we made our way into the departure hall... the moment we arrived @ our gate there was already a long queue liao le.. sighx.. my first time sitting a SIA flight.. and i clearly din noe the how to perate the stuff and my sis was kinda pissed off.. after taking off, i played some games before proceeding on to watching Sky High and Goal, although not every part of it.. took a nap and carried on playing some more games.. soon enough, we landed and after clearing the customs, we were supposed to go through on opaque door.. not knowing wat was behind it and being the first wan to go thru, i got a shock when i saw a crowd of ppl looking in my direction.. it was the arrival hall.. met up with our tour leaders and after checking into the hotel, we rested a while den made our way across the road to Chinatown to have an early dinner.. the weather is rather cold.. because of the chilly winds and i do feel myself falling sick.. must have sneezed a hundred times the whole of todae.. sighx.. hotel room still acceptable la.. Hotel Grand Chancellor isd the name.. got my favourite ESPN channel.. ok, hav to wake up early tmr.. gonna go sleep now... nitex..



todae was a generally fine day... had to wake up at 6.30am to get ready to go to school for training.. arrived in school slightly earlier than fall in time which is safer than to come in at the last minute.. after parade, we took turns to take our squad for rifle drills.. i must sae that drills are rather fun.. and to hv the power of controlling ppl is totally awesome.. after drill sessions were games when our entire squad split into 2 equal grps.. the most memorable goal i ever scored should be the one i scored todae.. a throw-in from my team-mate and a header from me.. simply nice.. yea.. and den there were some disputes between the sec 2 squad and sec 3 squad.. but after apologising to them i guessed everyone just wanted to forget about it.. some took it lightly.. but some took it as very offending.. but its over liao le lar.. just shake hands wif each other and peace will be made.. better to make a fren than to make an enemy.. after training we went to hv our lunch in the school canteen and after that played a bit more soccer.. the sec 2s and some sec 1s were mixed in both teams.. and my team won 15-4.. haha.. such a drastic result.. made my way home after that.. was supposed to hav tuition.. but due to some circumstances.. i did not hv it todae at all.. kinda thankful.. before leaving for my grandma's house for dinner, i was made to bring down the curtains of my house to send them for washing.. gonna go overseas on sunday liao le.. i must sae that the excitement is not that high.. instead i dun feel much excitement in it at all.. i dunno why... bad premonitions? can only commit them into God's hands.. will be coming back on saturday the 17th.. for those whom i told was 18th.. sorrie.. i made a mistake.. just having mixed emotions now.. will be missing my bed, s'pore, the ppl in s'pore.. hais.............. intend to write a day's account of everyday in australia so that i can come back and post.. @ least that can make me reflect on what we learnt and did in australia.. and one day after coming back wld be camp already.. having so many thoughts on my mind.. but only some possess a heavier weight...



wa sian lorx.. last night couldn't fall asleep at all.. at least not till a long long time.. must hav been wat.. 1 hour? just dunno why.. but i was aware that i was thinking of smt.. forcing my eyes shut.. jus cldnt.. cldn't.... cldn't sleep lar!!! den nxt morning suffered like siao.. partially becos i had a shortage of sleep.. den also had training.. first was muster parade.. den was drills session.. after that got safety first badge test.. din do quite well as compared to my other squadmates.. scored 18 out of 20.. after that went back to the parade square to learn a new drill.. marched round and round the parade square to train on that new drill and finally after a while, we got to rest and change out of our full u.. after training went to eat lunch in sch.. den played some soccer before making my way home together wif a fren.. he veh poor thing lorr.. so long liao his internet connection still ah buay hou ( not ok yet).. knowing that my tutor was coming at 4.. he still wanted to stay on at my house.. tat shld show how desperate he is to do some admin stuff online.. den the best part was when my mother came home from work.. much earlier than both of us expected.. she stepped into the house without knowing that he was in my room.. and the moment she passed by my room, she got a shock and i was like laughing away.. but after that still kena scolded lorr.. tuition ended at 6.. not very happy after tuition.. for some reasons which i will not state.. and then my fren chose a blogskin for spastico.. in case u r wondering wats spastico.. its an unofficial organisation set up by 3 other squadmates and me.. lol.. din quite agree wif him tat tat shld be the blogskin.. but he said just use that for the time being lorx.. i was in charge of putting up the tag-board.. and i only managed to do so after i came back from my grandma's house and completing of some of my tuition hw.. so happy to be the very first tagger of the tagboard.. haha.. now as my yahoo chess rating starts to decrease and decrease.. i m beginning to doubt my abilities in that game.. its like i can even lose to someone whose ranking was 2 coloured ranks below me.. smt wrong must be happening to me.. sighx.. i dun wish to get insomnia again tonite.. but i just dunno why this keeps happening to me.. not like i did smt wrong and my conscience is bugging me.. but its like only recently that this has started happening to me.. much more serious than other times.. just wishing that i wld start dreaming and fall asleep at the same time.. talking about dreams.. i had a really awesome dream the prev night.. u might not agree wif me on that.. but i still think its kewl.. it started wif me standing under a mrt track.. there were lots of ppl around me and there also was talk going around that some scientists or explorers were transporting the sun to another location.. when i lifted my head up, i saw the huge fiery ball just a few hundred metres away from me.. amazing isnt it, how we din get melted.. and then there was a digital board wif the counting down starting.. and after 3 seconds.. the ball just rolled all the way along the mrt track.. somehow the scientists overlooked the fact that the temp. of the sun cld melt everything in its path.. that includes the mrt track.. soon enough the platform was gone and the ball just kept rolling.. ppl started chasing after it.. wondering wat wld happen to it.. it wasn't long before it went into a tunnel.. and the curiosity of everyone overpowered their fear of getting killed.. they just wanted to see wat was gonna happen.. den suddenly the alarm sounded.. an announcement was made over the PA system saying that the scientists had lost control of the sun and that the chances of it crashing or even exploding was increasing.. den everyone just started panicking and everyone was looking for an escape route.. me being amidst the crowd just kept running and running till i decided to try my luck on this particular door.. it had a flight of steps leading down.. and led to a toilet of someone's house.. the only thought on my mind was to be safe so i decided to take refuge there.. and den the dream ended wif the other door of the bathroom opening.. i know it seems farfetched and like impossible to happen and stuff.. but this i bet is the most unique dream i ever had in my entire life....

<~ knowing my own limits...... ~>



hais... woke up at 9 am in the morning.. read newspaper before preparing to set off for church.. reached church just as service was about to start.. heng arh.. not late.. then during service.. i just couldn't bring myself to sing any of the songs or hymns.. dunno why.. feeling heavily troubled over the things that are happening to me and gonna happen to me.. my mind just wasn't on service lar.. sighx.. after church went to pick my father up from raffles city plaza.. he had finished the full marathon.. and aint i proud of him! haha.. but he looked all tired and poofed.. after buying lunch from outside and da bao back to eat, he went to bathe and immediately napped.. poor guy.. not a short distance lar.. i m hoping to try it one day like him too.. hahaz.. after lunch napped for around twenty min until my fren called me on my hp to chat.. all his fault i napped so little todae.. den chatted till around 3.30 when my tutor came.. tuition till six and after that i just started doing some of his hw.. went back to my grandmother's house for dinner as usual.. den accompanied my mother to fetch my sister to camp.. came back home and completed all the tuition homework before coming online.. its getting scarier and scarier.. holidays are ending soon.. in jus a twinkling of an eye.. 2006 will emerge.. christmas is round the corner too.. festive mood is in the air.. but i just ain't getting any festive mood.. HAIS.......



mann.. did i hate this day.. slept at 2am in the morning.. not because i slept that late that i disliked this day.. but i had to wake up 7am to go hav piano lesson at 8.. that must be the earliest piano lesson i ever had.. came back and had a shower.. yahoo chessed until around 11.30.. played the piano until 12 noon.. den watched EPL Goals till 12.30.. lunch was brought by my grandmother.. thank God for her.. den ate till 1 plus while watching ppl on yahoo play chess.. den after my lunch carried on playing again.. until 2 which was supposed to be the time for tuition.. however i waited and waited until i fell asleep on my bed and my teacher arrived @ 2.15... had tuition till 4 plus.. couldn't "tahan" anymore.. went to nap till around 6.30 and woke up wif my father shouting at me saying going to have dinner already.. so i forced myself out of bed and went to wash my face.. went to have dinner in the regions of tampines.. ate duck rice and after that came home to complete some tuition homework.. not all though.. unable to do some of them.. and now i m feeling rather pissed off.. having to degrade my phone.. sighx............................

<< life's unfair >>



todae was a generally fine day.. woke up at 9am in the morning.. received a phone call from my fren.. telling me to meet the others up at TM mac at 10.15am.. played a few rounds of yahoo chess before leaving house.. arrived at my destination 2 mins early.. both of my other friends already turned up liao.. left 2 ppl who hav yet to come.. then went to watch Chicken Little.. a note for those who want to watch this movie.. its really worth watching.. and u will enjoy it although it is a little bit short.. after the movie, we went to the arcade.. i played 1 game of outrun and 1 game of initial D.. win the outrun lost the initial D cos my fren more experienced in initial D marhz.. after arcade, went to eat.. some of us went to kfc while some of us went to the food court.. after lunch, we walked all the way to safra where we played 2 games of bowling.. 1 game for warm-up and 1 game for competition.. and in both matches, i emerged victorious with both games me having the highest score.. broke my personal record too.. so happy lorrx.. that was the main highlight of the dae.. then on the way walking home my fren's house, they kept throwing peanuts into the air and catching them using their mouth.. i was so irritated by their actions lorx.. like chi bao mei shi zuo liddat.. went up to my fren's house to play bridge and dai di.. then at 4 o'clock went downstairs to play basketball and soccer.. play until 6.25.. left my friend's house at 7.55 after playing a few more games of bridge and dai di again.. this time round the bus trip home was rather sian cos nobody to talk to.. missed some of Tong Xin Yuan by the time i got to my grandma's house.. and after dinner my second uncle fetch me and my sister home then he went to work.. now so sian.. dun feel like doing anything.. currently very happy wif the progress i made in yahoo chess.. rating going up smoothly.. but also cannot be too complacent larhx.. later lose then will drop alot @ one go.. so now i play all the games wif caution.. kk..thats all......